Clap if You Believe
by the-vampire-act
Summary: "Never stop believing." "Believing in what?" Spencer's at a stand-still, and as he rediscovers an old treasure, he remembers that he still doesn't know everything. For Nymphadora-CullenBAU. Warnings for Drunk!Reid and spoilers for season 6.


**Inspired by a quote that Nymphadora-CullenBAU used in Hook or Me this Time. She just doesn't know it yet. **

**Clap if you Believe….**

Elle was gone. Gideon was gone. Haley was dead. JJ was gone. Prentiss was leaving.

Who the hell was next?

SSA Dr. Spencer Reid slammed the door to his apartment closed, dropping his bag on the floor almost immediately as he entered the room. He tossed his coat on a spare chair and kicked off his shoes. Eyes drawn and sad, he collapsed on his bed and just laid there. It felt good for about three whole minutes, then it just started getting tiresome. Rolling over on his back, he sighed shakily and wiped a hand over his face. Frowning, he realized he was crying. Wiping the tears away, he hastily stood from his bed and practically ran into his kitchen. He immediately v-lined to his fridge and pulled out the bottle of Scotch he had hidden in the back. Impatiently, he popped off the top and chugged, relishing in the burning feeling as the liquid traveled down his throat. 'Better the throat than the veins,' he thought with a sad sigh.

Of course, his phone started ringing at the precise moment in time. "Damn it," he muttered as he fumbled for his phone. 'Morgan', its screen glowed. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he turned it off and threw it against the wall. "Leave me alone!" he shouted to no one in particular. Almost immediately, his home phone started ringing. Shaking his head, Reid just traveled down his hallway and into his bedroom, waiting for the phone to shut its ugly mouth up. As he sat on his bed waiting, his eyes wandered over the books on his shelves. They paused when they scanned over a blank spine, eyebrows raising. He didn't remember what the book was called, and he suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to find out what it was. Shuffling off of the bed, Scotch still in hand, he pulled it off the shelf and read the give. A harsh laughing sound escaped his lips when he realized what it was, and he quickly decided to throw it against the wall. The irony was just too…too _mean _to ignore, and it obviously needed to be punished for it. Just as he was going to release it, though, something slid out of its pages. Frowning, he glanced down, and he immediately sobered.

"Oh," he whispered, picking it up from the floor, "_Oh." _

The picture was of himself and Gideon when he was fourteen. He had just attended a seminar for profiling the day before the picture had been taken, and immediately Spencer had fallen in love with the BAU. In the picture, Gideon had given Spencer a gift, but at the time the gift had been unopened. A few hours later, though, it was opened.

"_I know that you want to join the bureau, and I know that you're ready for this, but never stop believing," Gideon spoke carefully. _

"_Believing in what?" Spencer asked, curiosity glittering in the child-like eyes. _

"_The belief that happy endings exist." _

Another thought came to mind, and Spencer frowned as he opened the front cover of the book. A smile pulling at the corners of his lips, he read the writing over and over, as if trying to will himself until believing the elegant cursive words. Sitting flat on the floor, he propped up against the bookshelves and sighed heavily, closing his eyes. Finally, he brought his hands together and closed them, hesitating before repeating the action. The clap was hollow and hopeless, and the sound dragged out as it traveled throughout the empty apartment. He was alone, yes, but he was also surrounded. Smiling bitterly, he relocated his Scotch and took a more than generous sip. Then, knowing he wouldn't be heard, he leaned even heavier against the book shelf and laughed humorlessly, his hands messily clapping together in a drunken hope that something would happen, that something would magically change. His clapping was halted by the phone ringing again, and his sloppy smile vanished. Groaning, he slammed his head against the bookshelves and immediately took another swig from the glass bottle in his hands.

Yeah, it was going to be a long night.

_Do you believe in fairies? Say quick that you believe. If you believe, clap your hands! ~James M. Barrie_

**~* AGM *~**

**Just a depressing little piece ;) Thnx for reading everyone! **


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